Typically when you meet a guy, he knows what you want. Do you really think that he had the “misunderstanding” that you wanted to be in an open relationship? Or that you were happy to be a booty call? Or that you were perfectly fine with only hearing from him once a month? Come on. Men can be dumb, but not that dumb. A douchebag is a guy who knew all along what you needed and wanted, was unwilling or unable to give it to you, but gave you the impression that eventually he would make you happy, just so that he could keep you around for his own purposes.
Douchebags don’t have a “type”
Douchebags are attracted to anything with double X chromosomes. You didn’t have the misfortune of drawing the one jerk in the bar to you. By the time he got to you, he had probably already powered through a handful of other women that had the good sense to turn him down. So, please eliminate this notion that the bad guys are attracted to you specifically.
You ignored the signs
There were always signs from the beginning that a guy was a douchebag. If you look back, you could probably name them now from the way he spoke to the bartender the first night you met him to how long he took to respond to your texts to the fact that he was making secret phone calls in the backyard. There were always signs but you told yourself, “There’s gotta be an explanation for that behavior. It must just be a rare occurrence. Maybe I’m seeing things the wrong way.” And you told yourself this because it allowed you to continue to live in the delusion that love might come your way with this person.
You’re blinded by love
Every woman wants to be loved. We can want it so badly that we’ll tell ourselves love is there, when it is not. We’ll hold onto that lie as long as we possibly can. Any time he fails to meet our needs or wants we never put it on him. We always come up with an excuse forhim. We refuse to take it personally.
Signs Part I: Communication
If a man takes all day, or multiple days to return a text or call he is either A) Too busy to prioritize love in his life right now B) Dating someone else C) Not emotionally ready to let someone in, therefore he lets his brain fill up with many other tasks and thoughts so that he forgets to respond to you or D) Is not that into you. Do not make excuses for a man that fails to communicate efficiently. If he’s not there on the phone, he will not mentally or emotionally be there in person.
Signs Part III: How he is as a boyfriend
If a man never plans anything special for the two of you, surprises just for you, makes no effort to spend time with your friends or family, does not take an interest in your work or passions, makes you do everything on his terms, hardly prioritizes alone time with you: he is probably not going to marry you and if he does, you’ll be miserable. A man that acts like this is not a grown up, and he is not going to become one within a relationship. Sorry to break it to you but you cannot change or train a man—not in such basic and fundamental things as being thoughtful, compassionate, considerate, generous and empathetic. Those are all qualities the man I described here does not have.